How to Write a Father of the Bride Speech: The Essentials
You only have one shot to nail this speech for your daughter, son-in-law, families and guests.
So your goal must be to shock, surprise and thrill everyone with a killer original speech that is funny, warm, epic and unforgettable.
THE PROBLEM
Rest assured that when you stand up to speak at the wedding most in the audience will be thinking, “Oh no… here we go again.”
It’s nothing personal, of course, it’s just because most father of the bride speeches are terrible and filled with generic compliments, rambling stories and phony lines that could be said about any bride and groom anywhere like, “I’m not losing a daughter I’m gaining a son!”
In other words, most father of the bride speeches are about as exciting as scraping paint from a fence in the Texas sun.
The best father of the bride speech will give guests an inside look at the values, character and personality of the bride and groom through your eyes.
You should grab, engage, entertain and surprise the audience in the same way as if they're watching a movie. So like a movie, your speech should have light, fun and warm moments throughout.
But right now you have years of thoughts, memories, feelings and experiences about your daughter in your heart and head. And it likely all feels like a jumbled mess right now.
That makes it next to impossible to step back and get perspective, which is what it takes to create a great speech that honors your daughter and son-in-law and is easy and enjoyable for the audience to follow.
THE STRUCTURE OF THE BEST FATHER OF THE BRIDE SPEECH
Having written more than 1,400 original father of the bride speeches over many years, I can report the best speech has five sections in a narrative structure that is easy and enjoyable for the audience to follow without having to work or think.
You will likely be introduced by name as father of the bride by the DJ or master of ceremonies. So don’t reintroduce yourself, which is redundant and unnecessary at a time when you should simply be grabbing the audience and rolling.
The audience expects you to open your speech like every other father with “I’m Jack, the father of the bride, welcome, welcome, thank you, thank you” and other, “blah, blah, blah” throat-clearing they can sleep through. Don’t do it.
Instead open with something simple and relatively quick but unexpected that will surprise and grab the audience in this first section of your speech.
This could be an observation, a quick reflection or memory of your daughter or something else they don’t expect. Anything but, “Good evening everyone and welcome blah, blah, blah.”
After you have grabbed the audience’s attention with something unexpected then cover your traditional duties of welcoming everyone, bringing the families together and setting a positive tone for the evening as (typically) the first speaker before dinner.
This is also when you mention and thank, if necessary, key people by name including your wife, other children, grandparents as well as the groom’s family.
The second section of your speech should give everyone an inside look at the signature values, characteristics and personality of your daughter through your eyes.
Humans have been hard wired for story since the Stone Age so be sure to do as much “showing” as “telling” through story to bring her character to life.
In the third section of your speech speak directly to your daughter on her wedding day. Looking back on your life together what are you feeling in this moment? What do you want her to know on this day? What’s it been like to be her father?
The fourth section will focus on the groom by giving everyone an inside look at his values, characteristics and personality through your eyes.
The last section of your speech should bring your daughter and son-in-law together as a couple. What makes their relationship work? What makes it unique and wonderful?
Then ask everyone to join you in a quick toast to the bride and groom and you’ve just hit a home run with your speech.